Buenos Aires, Argentina: Some things to think about…

“Words need to be sown like seed. No matter how tiny a seed may be, when it lands in the right sort of ground it unfolds its strength and from being minute expands and grows to a massive size” - Seneca

A couple of weeks before I quit my job and left San Diego, one of my friends who I had met in Buenos Aires last year told me, “One of the best things about traveling, is that all the bullshit gets stripped away. You see what matters, and what doesn’t”.

I remembered those words. Never really forgot them. And you know what?? He was right.

So, I figured that I would take some time and sit down to draw from some of my own experiences traveling through Latin America over the last 6 months, and share a few things that I’ve learned along the way. I hope that my words and experiences may be of some use one day to somebody out there…

- Heath is what’s most important. As I had mentioned in my previous posts, I had been really sick for a while in Guatemala and Colombia. I remember when I was staying in Bogota I had dropped about 8 lbs in a about a week and a half and it was so scary that I actually had realistic thoughts crossing in my head about dying and was wondering if I was going to be “OK”, and that had never really happened to me before. What I’ve come to realize is this… You can be on the most beautiful beach in the world, or have a million dollars in your bank account, and none of that matters one bit when you feel like shit. I remember there were days when I would be out and about and thinking, “Yes, I’m traveling the world, and yes, I don’t have to get up and go to work tomorrow, and I can essentially do what ever the hell I want to; but all I really want to do is feel better.”

- If you don’t like your situation, change it, because in the end your happiness is all that matters. If you’re unhappy about something in your life, change it. If you don’t like your job, change it. And you know what? It’s ok to be in a job that you don’t like, or in a situation that you don’t like, as long as you’re actively working on changing your situation to something better. I have met people who complain and complain about their life, or their job, or what ever. And you know, knowing that things “suck” is half the battle. So if you’re stuck in the same miserable job or are unhappy with something, that’s ok, because you can do something about it. That is, as long as you know that you need to do something about it.

But, to the same point, if you are unhappy about things, and are not working on making a change for the better, and all you do is complain just because you’re scared, or afraid of uncertainty, or what ever the reason…you’re a fool. You do not get that time back that you’re wasting being unhappy. It’s gone forever. I know, and I can say this honestly, because I was a fool for a long time before I figured that one out.

- Don’t follow the crowd. What really matters is not what other people think, but what YOU think. Sounds simple doesn’t it? I remember when I lived in San Diego one day at work I had someone say to me, “If I drove around in your car (meaning my 1976 VW Bug) I would have to wear a bag over my head”. Honestly, I really didn’t really think much about it at the time other than, “That’s pretty cold, and besides, what’s wrong with driving a bug?”

However, at this point I can look back on that event and think, “I just can’t believe that some one would want to put that much value on a car, just so that they can impress other people, or just not to have to ‘feel bad’ because they drive an old car. It just doesn’t make sense to me.” And not to mention, it’s probably also one of the main reasons that I’m traveling the world right now, and that person has to get up tomorrow and go to work to pay for his SUV, or Mercedes, or BMW, or whatever.

Suppose he has a beautiful home and a handsome collection of servants, a lot of land under cultivation, and a lot of money out at interest; not one of these things can be said to be in him- they are just things around him. Praise in him what can neither be given nor snatched away, what is peculiarly a man’s. You ask what this is? It is his spirit... -Seneca

So, which is a more worthwhile investment of your time? Following the crowd, or doing what YOU want to do regardless of what other people think? You tell me… but I already know the answer. ;)

- Don’t spend your time worrying about things that ultimately don’t matter. What do I mean by this? We’ll just take a look at what caused you any sort of stress today… Was it being late for work? Was there a huge line at Starbucks during your break? Or even, was it trying to get that report in on time? I can mention all of these things because I’m guilty of stressing out over each one of them at one point or another in my life. And it’s easy to see how these are just a few examples of things that ultimately don’t matter.

Now, one can argue that being late for work, or not getting a report in on time is a real issue. Well I can tell you, in my career as a financial analyst working for a fortune 500 company, I had been late for work many times, and have stressed out over many, many reports, but ultimately what was the result? Well, I’m sitting here writing this right now and I’m just fine.

One of the things that I really disliked about my profession was that, no matter how many urgent fires were put out, or reports needed to be issued, another one would pop right back up in its place. So over the past 5 years working in finance, I literally put out hundreds of fires, and put together hundreds of reports, and after all that effort, and all the stress, I cannot remember a single one of them. Why? Because ultimately, they just don’t matter.

I heard one of my favorite authors respond to a question that was to the point of, “How do you deal with the issue of getting behind on your work?” His answer was something to the effect of (and I’m just going off of memory here but this is the jyst of what he said…) “How do I deal with being behind? Well, once I cease believing that I am behind, I’m no longer behind.”

Now I’m not saying that your work is not important, or that you should take a lazy attitude towards working. What I am saying is that many of the little things that cause a ton of un-needed stress in the work place, and in life in general, at least in my experience, are just not ultimately that important. They only matter and cause us stress because we make them matter, and we make them cause us stress.

- Value your time, people, and experiences… not “Things”. We can all do with out the gadgets. The I-Phone, the I-pad… all that stuff is crap and we don’t need it. I honestly believe this, and as many of you know I threw a long bomb with my I-phone when I was in Guatemala and watched it shatter into 1,000 pieces. And you know what else? I’ve never looked back. I don’t have a cell phone here, and I don’t want one. And I don’t even want to get one when I return to the US. Why? Because I truly believe that these things, to a certain extent, take away from you life.

Just as an example; I was in Belize eating lobster on the beach one night with some amazing people, when a very attractive girl arrived at the table next to me. I noticed her immediately as she sat down with her group of friends. So there they were… on the beach in Belize, ready to eat some fresh lobster with a group of friends, and basically in an absolute paradise! But, you know what I noticed from glancing over at her from time to time? This girl was on her Blackberry the whole time while her friends were eating, drinking, laughing and having fun. And I mean, she had her head buried in that thing typing away the WHOLE time. So After dinner my friends and I went to the local bar (there were only really 1 or 2 bars on the island) and about 15 mins later guess who came in? Yes, I was watching curiously as she sat down at a table, STILL typing away on the Blackberry. I really couldn’t believe it, but I just had to laugh to myself when I thought, I bet she’s on there right now telling her friends that “Hey! We’re on the beach in Belize, and ready to eat some fresh lobster with a group of friends, and we’re in an absolute paradise!”

Talk about being somewhere, but not actually “being there”. What a damn shame.

I admit that when I was living back in the US, I was just as guilty of doing these things as the girl on the beach in Belize. When ever I had a moment that wasn’t occupied, I was on the I-phone. I mean, you see it all the time. People letting their life pass by as they fiddle with these gadgets. Just take a look the next time your at a bar or in a restaurant and one person gets up to use the restroom. 90% of the time the other person will pull out their phone, because they have absolutely no idea what else to do. What happened to just “being” and just sitting there and taking it all in. When I lived in Antigua, Guatemala one of the things I loved to do was just sit in the park. I would go to the park and just sit there. I would sit there for hours at a time and soak everything in; watching the people, listening to the birds and the running water of the fountain in the middle of the park, and only leaving when I got hungry or when it started to get cold. This is where I learned how to “just be” and I loved it.

So the next time your somewhere and the urge comes over you to look at your cell phone for no apparent reason, please; “just be”. And I promise, everything in your life will be that much better…

In looking back on everything, I still remember those words...“You see what matters, and what doesn’t.” And yes, I have begun to see what matters and what doesn’t. I have had some amazing experiences and have met some wonderful people from all over the world. I have seen people who have everything, and many people who have nothing; and I have learned from all of them.

I will especially remember those out there who couldn’t even begin to imagine being able to afford a BMW, or an I-phone, let alone a dinner at a fancy restaurant, and you know what? Their happier than 75% of the people I know back home.

And if that’s not something to think about, I don’t know what is…

*** I also just wanted to say thank you to everyone has read my blog over the last 6 months. I’m pretty sure that this will be my final post, as I really don’t have much else to say. I have posted a few pictures below from my trip that, many of which, I did not get a chance to post in earlier entries. I hope you enjoy them.

As for me, I’m still in Buenos Aires right now pondering when I will return home to begin living in San Francisco. So to everyone out there, thanks again! I miss you all, and I hope to see you all again one day soon. Cheers - Byron